Bring It On: A 2019 Problematic Rewatch
If you were born in the 90's and you didn't grow up on the Bring It On cheerleading cinematic franchise, I have to believe that you grew up in a convent without a VHS player and stereotypical rom com pop culture being shoved down your seven year old throat. I was OBSESSED with Bring It On. Never heard of it? Let me give you a run-down.
The Toro cheerleading squad from Rancho Carne High School (FIVE TIME NATIONAL WINNING CHEERLEADING SQUAD!!!!) in San Diego has got spirit, spunk, sass and a killer routine that's sure to land them the national championship trophy for the sixth year in a row. But for newly-elected team captain Torrance AKA queen of 2000 Kirsten Dunst, the Toros' road to total cheer glory takes a shady turn when she discovers that their perfectly-choreographed routines were in fact stolen from the Clovers, a hip-hop squad from East Compton led by the amazing Gabrielle Union whose book I still have on my TBR, by the Toro's former captain Big Red.
I watched this movie a minimum of 87 times through my prepubescent years and have seen every spin off movie that followed after it to mooch off the success of the first with the unforgettable tagline "You better BRING it."
I also fully attribute my political aspirations and contributions to the MASTERFUL writing of "This is not a democracy. This is a CHEEROCRACY.”
Anyways, it has been years since I have indulged in the Rancho Carne dumpster fire of amazingness, so this, right here, is a live reaction to a rewatch of a movie that ruled my life as I slowly started saying "bitch" when parental units were not present and wondered when the first time would be when a man saw my spankies. I want to see if this movie would hold up today or if the problematic nature of 2000 would kill it for me.
Buckle up, baby. I paid $2.99 for this on Amazon because my copy is packed in an old meat box.
I am sitting in my dark room staring with too much moisturizer on my face and with a Hidden Springs Pale Ale in my hands, my third beer of the night, completely enamored by the musical mantra occuring on my TV - the phenomenal dream sequence of Torrance in the Rancho Carne gym, where the rhymes are slamming and the abs are OUT as I'm wearing my Target granny panty underwear with my stomach roll slumping over. I feel GREAT. I'm slamming, I'm hot, I'm everything you're not! The cheerleaders yell out "I'm flying, I jump, you can look but don't you hump!" and I remember singing this line in a kitty cat t-shirt with absolutely no boobs and no idea what hump even means!
They start their roll call of sorts and little did they know this would create the "Shabooyah" roll call chant in "Bring It On: All Or Nothing" to be reciprocated by white girls across the country in their formative middle school years.
AND THEN TORRANCE'S TOP FALLS OFF. A nightmare right?!?!? That really happened to me when I danced to Boogie Fever in 6th grade at a dance competition in Minneapolis and I can absolutely empathize and say "Yep!!! A nightmare!!!"
We are six minutes in when we get our first fat joke! On a woman who is no more than a size 4! Classic! Courtney says "She puts the whore in horrifying!" which is both a slut shaming ick and a great lesson in spelling for seven-year-old Maggie. Torrance wins captain and we get a mumbled "slut" adding to the facet that a great way to lessen a woman's success is to bring up her sex life.
Anyways!
"Do I look like a milkmaid? Because somebody feels like a cow!" Wow! Imagine being lifted in the air and hearing your male teammate saying that. Definitely wouldn't make me want to kill myself or anything. And a "Somebody didn't spend the entire summer working out, right Carver?" Wow, let me take another sip of my beer!!!!!!
Ok, still going. Cliff entering the scene and defying the loser sneeze with a Clash t-shirt gave me my first introduction to my "Soft Boi" fascination and future demise as a twenty-something dating in her twenties. If he were personified today, it'd be the guy on my bumble profile with the bio that read "only into girls that want to listen to The 1975, watch Pulp Fiction on a loop, and talk about the universe." Swoon!
Then, we get a homophobic comment from the football players but the male cheerleaders don't take that shit. Good job writers (for now). Except Jan, who is the recipient of most homophobic comments, is a sexist and inappropriate nightmare????
Isn't this the audition for Pippin? DEAD. The tryout scene is one of my favorite montages in all of 2000's movies. Cherry Pie can't play in a bar without me wanting to put on a blue bikini top and shake my cellulite ass on a bartop to make a dude fall backwards off his chair.
And CUE ELIZA
DUSHKU!!!!!!!!! She is the reason my sexuality is on a spectrum.
Speaking of homophobic comments, cue Courtney saying "Missy looks like an uber dyke." Oh my fruckin' yikes. We aren't even 20 minutes in. I want to scream. Fast forward two minutes and we get another "dyke-y loser." Not holding up well so far.....at all.
Then, we get to Missy alerting Torrance that her entire cheer career has been a facade and her former captain, Big Red, has been ripping off cheers from Black women in Compton. White women stealing from Black women and culturally appropriating from them? REALISM, folks, REALISM. Way ahead of their times here in the teenage cinema sphere. Redemption....slightly. But still, as we progress, white saviourism as then Torrance tries to make up for it and act like apologizing for the stealing and offering white daddy money makes up for the stealing in the first place. Do you think Kylie Jenner is a Bring It On fan?
Thank you Gabrielle Union for providing the best line in movie history.
Torrance's brother coming in hot with the homophobia again as he calls her collegiate boyfriend Aaron (who is annoying, yes, but obviously never worthy of homophobic slurs) gay for being a former cheerleader, feeding into the idea that men cannot be straight when they participate in inherently female activities, no matter the athleticism involved so long as society deems it "feminine." Torrace doesn't tolerate it and tugs out his nintendo cord. But, is this because she is angry that her brother is unintentionally making fun of her for being attracted to a man who is a cheerleader or because she is consciously fighting homophobia. I'm going to go with the latter unfortunately. We ease right into the next scene in the car where the squad is on the way to their first football game and the lines "Are you trying to tell me you speak fag?" and "Is she dyke-adelic?" are thrown out. God, I am cringing and wish I had tampons near by to shove into my ear cavities.
And Jan full on admits to "accidentally" fingering Courtney while he holds her in a cheer position when she doesn't wear any spankies. Nothing like a sexual assault joke in a movie to make you want to keep watching. With a scene later to match at the football game where after Jan "slips," Courtney makes a face as though she secretly likes it. Adding to the idea enforced in rape culture that the "victim secretly wanted it." Then, The Clovers show up and absolutely HUMILIATE The Toros for continuing to use stolen cheers and we are supposed to still feel kind bad for The Toros. White tears are strong here.
Then, we are finally given a problematic break and blessed with Cliff's atrocious fake guitar playing skills. I did better air guitar before my toddler ass even knew what a guitar was. But, here I am, still in love and obsessed with Cliff and feeling all tingly inside from the awkward and cring-y toothbrushing scene. Who knew someone could make me want to cut sexual tension with a butter knife for a totally mundane bathroom nightly routine? And can we talk about how Kirsten Dunst's boobs in that 90's style tank top are perfectly perky? That's a hate crime.
Yay, a dozen more fat jokes from the scary spirit-finger wielding asshole! I know, in this sense, we are supposed to eye him as the villian. But, come on, they are still being said, and these women are literally 100 pounds. You hate to see it. Also threw in a "Smile!" at Missy. I've never wanted to punch a person more.
Cherry on top is using the "r-word" and encouraging Darcy to develop an eating disorder since fat people don't fly as high when you're a cheerleader getting thrown in the air. I have a very special spirit finger for the person who wrote this character in and here's a hint, it's my middle one!
We are given a rest when we are bombarded with hair-sprayed up-dos similar to dipping your head in concrete, Courtney calling a 6 year old a whore and attempting to fight her, and a horrible routine to U-G-L-Y where a mother runs up to the judges table to yell at the man who looked down during a cheer stunt. Peak white mom. The Clovers walk in to the regional competition to evil-dwelling music and we are reminded badly, once again, who the supposed villains are in the story thus far before they crush their original routine. And then we hear it.....
"PREPARE FOR TOTAL DOMINATION......." and our screen is filled with anguished, fraudulent, white fear! Torrance is debating on cheer-tizing white flight similar to housing segregation, but they fearfully perform the routine anyways, completely humiliating themselves. I LOVE IT. Cliff yelling "Hey Torrence!" as she gets annihilated by the judicial committee for utilizing Sparky Polastri is laugh out loud entertainment. A slap on the wrist in the end though for 100% cheating and performing a stolen routine is on a lesser scale, similar to white men getting taken to Burger King after opening fire in a Charleston church. The slack white people are given. Very fitting.
Torrence's day is ruined further with Cliff outside her door with FLOWERS in a BUTTON-UP, looking ADORBS, with him having witnessed her disgustingly get macked on by her loser boyfriend Aaron in his dorky blue whatever-you-call-that-dweeb-car after he told her she maybe wasn't, airquote, captain material. A very important moment though, because it gave us Kirsten Dunst bobbing her head extremely off beat and dancing HORRIBLY on her too stiff bed to Cliff's original song with vocals that sound nothing like Jesse Bradford. Cue another sip of beer!
Torrance dumps Aaron in the best way with the best hair-do. This is fantastic wrap-around writing. Women are so talented at remembering the exact words that men use to demean us. It degrades us, demeans us, and sometimes makes us not want to get out of bed for two days. But it's so fun to use against them after we finally come to our senses and dump their ass. "That' right, I am a cheerleader, and you're a dumbass" is my new "That's right, I am woman, and you're a dumbass," anytime a man makes any comment meant to demean me and my femininity. Thank you, Missy.
Without Torrance's white saviourism, The Clovers earn their way to Nationals with the help of Pauletta (aka a knock off of Oprah) and we are gifted another fat joke! Yay!
Now, the climax of the movie, Nationals!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS MAKES THE ENTIRE MOVIE WORTH IT. The dancing and cheerleading is sublime. Brain-melting. Makes you want to wave pom-poms in the air in the middle of your living room. When 'bang bang choo choo train' comes on during the Clovers routine, I get a heart palpatation! SUPREME! And I have the part "You KNOW!" ingrained in me and my body just automatically reacts with muscle memory when I rewatch to throw down my arm. And while the Rancho Carne Toros routine is overall more creative, you can't help but feel your heart warm when The Clovers get their due. It's a feel good ending that makes this problematic movie unable to collect dust on your $2 garage sale DVD holder. The swing dancing, pristine helicoptor stunt, and Cliff head banging? Chills.
This movie is overtly homophobic, teeters on sexism and rape culture, plays on stereotypical rivalry between races and cultural appropriation, enables white saviourism, and is all around cringy and mind boggling at moments. But, you can't not watch it when it comes on cable. Through all the bullshit, The Clovers come out as winners. And it put Gabrielle Union on the map and offered a digestible take on cultural appropriate to tweens. And to its core, it is subtly feminist with ownership over female sexuality, the seriousness surrounding cheerleading as an athletic feat, and having women competing with each other dynamically instead of over a man.
What movie should I review next?
The Toro cheerleading squad from Rancho Carne High School (FIVE TIME NATIONAL WINNING CHEERLEADING SQUAD!!!!) in San Diego has got spirit, spunk, sass and a killer routine that's sure to land them the national championship trophy for the sixth year in a row. But for newly-elected team captain Torrance AKA queen of 2000 Kirsten Dunst, the Toros' road to total cheer glory takes a shady turn when she discovers that their perfectly-choreographed routines were in fact stolen from the Clovers, a hip-hop squad from East Compton led by the amazing Gabrielle Union whose book I still have on my TBR, by the Toro's former captain Big Red.
I watched this movie a minimum of 87 times through my prepubescent years and have seen every spin off movie that followed after it to mooch off the success of the first with the unforgettable tagline "You better BRING it."
I also fully attribute my political aspirations and contributions to the MASTERFUL writing of "This is not a democracy. This is a CHEEROCRACY.”
Anyways, it has been years since I have indulged in the Rancho Carne dumpster fire of amazingness, so this, right here, is a live reaction to a rewatch of a movie that ruled my life as I slowly started saying "bitch" when parental units were not present and wondered when the first time would be when a man saw my spankies. I want to see if this movie would hold up today or if the problematic nature of 2000 would kill it for me.
Buckle up, baby. I paid $2.99 for this on Amazon because my copy is packed in an old meat box.
I am sitting in my dark room staring with too much moisturizer on my face and with a Hidden Springs Pale Ale in my hands, my third beer of the night, completely enamored by the musical mantra occuring on my TV - the phenomenal dream sequence of Torrance in the Rancho Carne gym, where the rhymes are slamming and the abs are OUT as I'm wearing my Target granny panty underwear with my stomach roll slumping over. I feel GREAT. I'm slamming, I'm hot, I'm everything you're not! The cheerleaders yell out "I'm flying, I jump, you can look but don't you hump!" and I remember singing this line in a kitty cat t-shirt with absolutely no boobs and no idea what hump even means!
They start their roll call of sorts and little did they know this would create the "Shabooyah" roll call chant in "Bring It On: All Or Nothing" to be reciprocated by white girls across the country in their formative middle school years.
AND THEN TORRANCE'S TOP FALLS OFF. A nightmare right?!?!? That really happened to me when I danced to Boogie Fever in 6th grade at a dance competition in Minneapolis and I can absolutely empathize and say "Yep!!! A nightmare!!!"
We are six minutes in when we get our first fat joke! On a woman who is no more than a size 4! Classic! Courtney says "She puts the whore in horrifying!" which is both a slut shaming ick and a great lesson in spelling for seven-year-old Maggie. Torrance wins captain and we get a mumbled "slut" adding to the facet that a great way to lessen a woman's success is to bring up her sex life.
Anyways!
"Do I look like a milkmaid? Because somebody feels like a cow!" Wow! Imagine being lifted in the air and hearing your male teammate saying that. Definitely wouldn't make me want to kill myself or anything. And a "Somebody didn't spend the entire summer working out, right Carver?" Wow, let me take another sip of my beer!!!!!!
Ok, still going. Cliff entering the scene and defying the loser sneeze with a Clash t-shirt gave me my first introduction to my "Soft Boi" fascination and future demise as a twenty-something dating in her twenties. If he were personified today, it'd be the guy on my bumble profile with the bio that read "only into girls that want to listen to The 1975, watch Pulp Fiction on a loop, and talk about the universe." Swoon!
Then, we get a homophobic comment from the football players but the male cheerleaders don't take that shit. Good job writers (for now). Except Jan, who is the recipient of most homophobic comments, is a sexist and inappropriate nightmare????
Isn't this the audition for Pippin? DEAD. The tryout scene is one of my favorite montages in all of 2000's movies. Cherry Pie can't play in a bar without me wanting to put on a blue bikini top and shake my cellulite ass on a bartop to make a dude fall backwards off his chair.
And CUE ELIZA
DUSHKU!!!!!!!!! She is the reason my sexuality is on a spectrum.
Speaking of homophobic comments, cue Courtney saying "Missy looks like an uber dyke." Oh my fruckin' yikes. We aren't even 20 minutes in. I want to scream. Fast forward two minutes and we get another "dyke-y loser." Not holding up well so far.....at all.
Then, we get to Missy alerting Torrance that her entire cheer career has been a facade and her former captain, Big Red, has been ripping off cheers from Black women in Compton. White women stealing from Black women and culturally appropriating from them? REALISM, folks, REALISM. Way ahead of their times here in the teenage cinema sphere. Redemption....slightly. But still, as we progress, white saviourism as then Torrance tries to make up for it and act like apologizing for the stealing and offering white daddy money makes up for the stealing in the first place. Do you think Kylie Jenner is a Bring It On fan?
Thank you Gabrielle Union for providing the best line in movie history.
Torrance's brother coming in hot with the homophobia again as he calls her collegiate boyfriend Aaron (who is annoying, yes, but obviously never worthy of homophobic slurs) gay for being a former cheerleader, feeding into the idea that men cannot be straight when they participate in inherently female activities, no matter the athleticism involved so long as society deems it "feminine." Torrace doesn't tolerate it and tugs out his nintendo cord. But, is this because she is angry that her brother is unintentionally making fun of her for being attracted to a man who is a cheerleader or because she is consciously fighting homophobia. I'm going to go with the latter unfortunately. We ease right into the next scene in the car where the squad is on the way to their first football game and the lines "Are you trying to tell me you speak fag?" and "Is she dyke-adelic?" are thrown out. God, I am cringing and wish I had tampons near by to shove into my ear cavities.
And Jan full on admits to "accidentally" fingering Courtney while he holds her in a cheer position when she doesn't wear any spankies. Nothing like a sexual assault joke in a movie to make you want to keep watching. With a scene later to match at the football game where after Jan "slips," Courtney makes a face as though she secretly likes it. Adding to the idea enforced in rape culture that the "victim secretly wanted it." Then, The Clovers show up and absolutely HUMILIATE The Toros for continuing to use stolen cheers and we are supposed to still feel kind bad for The Toros. White tears are strong here.
Then, we are finally given a problematic break and blessed with Cliff's atrocious fake guitar playing skills. I did better air guitar before my toddler ass even knew what a guitar was. But, here I am, still in love and obsessed with Cliff and feeling all tingly inside from the awkward and cring-y toothbrushing scene. Who knew someone could make me want to cut sexual tension with a butter knife for a totally mundane bathroom nightly routine? And can we talk about how Kirsten Dunst's boobs in that 90's style tank top are perfectly perky? That's a hate crime.
Yay, a dozen more fat jokes from the scary spirit-finger wielding asshole! I know, in this sense, we are supposed to eye him as the villian. But, come on, they are still being said, and these women are literally 100 pounds. You hate to see it. Also threw in a "Smile!" at Missy. I've never wanted to punch a person more.
Cherry on top is using the "r-word" and encouraging Darcy to develop an eating disorder since fat people don't fly as high when you're a cheerleader getting thrown in the air. I have a very special spirit finger for the person who wrote this character in and here's a hint, it's my middle one!
We are given a rest when we are bombarded with hair-sprayed up-dos similar to dipping your head in concrete, Courtney calling a 6 year old a whore and attempting to fight her, and a horrible routine to U-G-L-Y where a mother runs up to the judges table to yell at the man who looked down during a cheer stunt. Peak white mom. The Clovers walk in to the regional competition to evil-dwelling music and we are reminded badly, once again, who the supposed villains are in the story thus far before they crush their original routine. And then we hear it.....
"PREPARE FOR TOTAL DOMINATION......." and our screen is filled with anguished, fraudulent, white fear! Torrance is debating on cheer-tizing white flight similar to housing segregation, but they fearfully perform the routine anyways, completely humiliating themselves. I LOVE IT. Cliff yelling "Hey Torrence!" as she gets annihilated by the judicial committee for utilizing Sparky Polastri is laugh out loud entertainment. A slap on the wrist in the end though for 100% cheating and performing a stolen routine is on a lesser scale, similar to white men getting taken to Burger King after opening fire in a Charleston church. The slack white people are given. Very fitting.
Torrence's day is ruined further with Cliff outside her door with FLOWERS in a BUTTON-UP, looking ADORBS, with him having witnessed her disgustingly get macked on by her loser boyfriend Aaron in his dorky blue whatever-you-call-that-dweeb-car after he told her she maybe wasn't, airquote, captain material. A very important moment though, because it gave us Kirsten Dunst bobbing her head extremely off beat and dancing HORRIBLY on her too stiff bed to Cliff's original song with vocals that sound nothing like Jesse Bradford. Cue another sip of beer!
Torrance dumps Aaron in the best way with the best hair-do. This is fantastic wrap-around writing. Women are so talented at remembering the exact words that men use to demean us. It degrades us, demeans us, and sometimes makes us not want to get out of bed for two days. But it's so fun to use against them after we finally come to our senses and dump their ass. "That' right, I am a cheerleader, and you're a dumbass" is my new "That's right, I am woman, and you're a dumbass," anytime a man makes any comment meant to demean me and my femininity. Thank you, Missy.
Without Torrance's white saviourism, The Clovers earn their way to Nationals with the help of Pauletta (aka a knock off of Oprah) and we are gifted another fat joke! Yay!
Now, the climax of the movie, Nationals!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS MAKES THE ENTIRE MOVIE WORTH IT. The dancing and cheerleading is sublime. Brain-melting. Makes you want to wave pom-poms in the air in the middle of your living room. When 'bang bang choo choo train' comes on during the Clovers routine, I get a heart palpatation! SUPREME! And I have the part "You KNOW!" ingrained in me and my body just automatically reacts with muscle memory when I rewatch to throw down my arm. And while the Rancho Carne Toros routine is overall more creative, you can't help but feel your heart warm when The Clovers get their due. It's a feel good ending that makes this problematic movie unable to collect dust on your $2 garage sale DVD holder. The swing dancing, pristine helicoptor stunt, and Cliff head banging? Chills.
This movie is overtly homophobic, teeters on sexism and rape culture, plays on stereotypical rivalry between races and cultural appropriation, enables white saviourism, and is all around cringy and mind boggling at moments. But, you can't not watch it when it comes on cable. Through all the bullshit, The Clovers come out as winners. And it put Gabrielle Union on the map and offered a digestible take on cultural appropriate to tweens. And to its core, it is subtly feminist with ownership over female sexuality, the seriousness surrounding cheerleading as an athletic feat, and having women competing with each other dynamically instead of over a man.
What movie should I review next?
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